Help me, I’m fat!

I’ve been moored at home since December. A well deserved break from school, work, and everything. I used the time to bond with my son, breastfeeding and generally goofing around.
Aaaaand I became fat.
The fat just stole up on me, and as I don’t own a full length mirror, I didn’t really see it. I just thought my clothes were ganging up on me, all of them refusing to expand to size me, not even the supposedly stretchy ones. Stupid clothes. Who wants them anyways. They’re just jealous cos I’m sexy. 😉 😉

OK, seriously, maybe I had some part to play in my current shapelessness shape. All those red velvet cake experiments, all that gravy, all the rich holiday foods and post holiday left-overs.

coconut fried rice.

my first attempt at baking a red velvet cake. it was FANTASTIC!!!

First attempt at cake decorating. even the cake smirked.

Plus the fact that I comfort eat, and I cook when I’m bored.
Or maybe its the fact that I just like food. I really do like food. The textures, the colors, the taste…. I like how cooking makes me feel in control, I like how people I host at dinner rave about my dishes, and as a Nigerian woman, I like how my husband loves my food. (And how he gives me money after. Hehehe)
Anyways, as the fat piled around my middle and my arms, I kept telling myself I’d lose the weight. “Don’t worry”, I’d say, “when school resumes, you’ll lose the weight as you move around , working and climbing all those stairs.” Or I’d say “it’s this breastfeeding jare. Its making me blow.”
So I stopped breastfeeding last week, school’s resuming for me on Tuesday, and I’m out of excuses. What do I do now?

Go on a diet?
Dieting isn’t really for me. I love food too much to live on starvation rations, but I really don’t want to be unhealthy and obese. 😦

1. I don’t have the cash. I’m only a student remember?
2. My husband could give me if I asked, but I’m feeling for the guy. He pays all the bills and everything. I really don’t want to kill him.
3. Gyms aren’t really in such abundance where I live.
4. I’d need someone to baby sit my son.

Home exercises then, yeah?
I’m just too lazy! 😥
There, I said it. I don’t like to wake up earlier than I have to. I don’t like to run about everywhere. I don’t like exercises, at home or elsewhere. Maybe I would have had to watch my weight and be more careful with my diet if people had to pay transport fares according to their weight, with the fattest people paying more. I wager there’d be more skinny peeps on the streets.
I have this fellow fattie friend who has been trying to make me take this diet pill or that cleaning tonic or the other tea or coffee that swears to melt the fat right off, but I have reservations. I really don’t think those things are good for someone. I think they basically just make you pee out all your water weight, make you feel good for a bit, but do nothing about your fat really. Besides, I value my liver lots, even if it is fatty.
However, since I do want to be sexy, like you know, a model, have people give me admiring glances whenever I’m out, I did make a couple of decisions yesterday.
1.) To eat smaller, healthier potions, and walk everywhere (as long as its not sunny).
2.) To hide a camera in my wardrobe to catch my clothes ganging up against me.
3.) To ask you, dear reader to keep me accountable. I really do not want to be too fat for my clothes or have to shop for tents to wear when normal people clothes no longer fit me.
Help me, please!

*photo credits: me, bbm contacts.*


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